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If my bones could speak

If my bones could speak they would tell you about how I wore them into battle like a cage and how I quivered on their insides as my heart shivered in my chest and my blood was sent thump-thumping out into the corners of my body.

If my bones could speak they would tell you of their aches and how they hurt in the mornings when I close my eyes against the cheerful chirp of my alarm clock and I brace myself. Because I know that in motion lies pain.

If my bones could speak they would tell you of a hundred thousand minutes spent dancing, and of how the music lingers in them even now and how my bones sing to me at night if I’m very still and very quiet.

If my bones could speak they would tell you that we used to be invincible and unbreakable and when the little kids played at taunting, when they sang about sticks and stones hurting their bodies — my bones knew that words were still more dangerous.

And they whispered to me their fears.

If my bones could speak they would tell you of all the times we fell or walked our growing hips into counter corners and door knobs. They would tell you of the times we forgot how tall we were and bumped our head. They would tell you of the moments when we ached with fever and curled up in pain.

If my bones could speak they would tell you about they way the vertebrae of my spine jostle together when we run and how this prevented us from fleeing the feelings of isolation that grew inside of us, blooming into those strange and shifting years that linger between childhood and self-actualization.

But most of all if my bones could speak they would tell you about the day I failed to hear them for the first time, and about how their voices grew louder until my bones clamoured in my body and I felt them shake me to my core but still I could not hear their voices, had forgotten the timbre of their tones.

If my bones could speak they would tell you of the day they woke up alone.

Author’s note: If you’d like to hear this piece in my own voice, check out the video below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V0ahdXdPvM

As always, I’d love to hear from you… what do your bones have to say? Let me know in the comments below! (And if you liked this poem, please share!)

Girl, age 11

When she’s 11 she climbs trees and splashes in mud puddles and runs races in the pouring rain. When she’s 11 she thieves apples from the neighbor’s tree and puts earthworms in the neighbor boy’s hair and she laughs because nothing has ever felt so free.

When she’s 11 she builds forts. She topples couches and ransacks closets for sheets and blankets and sleeping bags. And then she fills the living room with imagination until it becomes a jungle that can only be crossed if she slithers through on her belly like a snake.

When she’s 11 she lives each moment fully and she looks forward toward the adventures she is sure will be waiting for her at ages 12 and 13.

And at age 11 she can’t imagine beyond that because then there is high school and surely that is so. far. away.

But at age 11 the future looms vast and oh so bright that sometimes it hurts her eyes, but even that is exciting.

At age 11 she falls from a tree and it hurts and she falls from the monkey bars and that hurts too. But at age 11 she doesn’t let these things stop her because at age 11 she still remembers that not-so-long ago she learned how to walk and she still remembers what it was to fall down and get up and fall down again.

At age 11 she isn’t afraid of falling and she still dreams of flying and sometimes when she wakes up in the night she jumps from her bed because she’s still half-convinced that if she could just jump high enough she might discover her wings.

And at age 11 maybe she’s just starting to doubt because she’s done a lot of jumping and climbing and falling and maybe she’s struggling just a little to hold onto that hope.

But at age 11 she’s still trying, just in case maybe this time is the first time she’s right.

 

Author’s note: If you’d like to hear this piece in my own voice, check out the video below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nERX7ijZJbQ&list=UUaSxUNXZlcurR4VKBdOc-vQ

As always, I’d love to hear from you! Let me know what you think of this poem in the comments below! (And if you liked it, please share!)

A letter to my teenage self

The thing I wish I had known when I was a teen…

Is that the world is both so much bigger and so much smaller than you think it is because I know that it feels like you are smaller than an ant and larger than the blue whale and what I want to tell you is that both of these things are true and that it is possible to still be beautiful even when you don’t feel that way because I know you and I know you’re feeling like you don’t quite know where to put your feet or how to move your lips to make people like you.

And what I want to tell you is to be brave and to worry less about what those other people think because the truth is that not everybody is going to like you. And you’ve got to learn to be ok with that.

And I want to tell you to stop and turn back and don’t go this way because this way lies madness and I found madness but I can’t tell you to stop because you’re no longer you, you’re me.

And what I’ve learned from you, and maybe what you’ll learn from me, is that we’re in this thing together…

 

And that together we’re going to do just fine.

 

Author’s note: You can hear me read this piece aloud in the video below!

http://youtu.be/8hBHW59ujcY

 

As always, I’d love to hear from you! Let me know what you think in the comments below.

A post-script on paying attention

Author’s note: This one’s from way back; it’s a poem I wrote in high school, and I fear it rather shows. But I published a blog post recently about the importance of paying attention and it reminded me of this poem. So here it is, for your enjoyment.

Regrets

If I could have these moments to do over again,
a life time to repeat,
feet retracing steps in a new/familiar way.
My beginning would become my end
along the same path,
leading forward into the darkness.

If I had these years to try again,
I’d want to spend more time
just remembering, just watching and noticing
as the time slips by.
I spent so many years,
head down as I hurried, walking briskly
from one place to another –
I forgot to look and listen.

My eyes saw pictures in the concrete beneath my feet
because the same old grey/black surface
spotted with old chewing gum, threaded with mossy crevices
was endless – neverchanging.
My feet walked on because I demanded it of them,
but there was no wonder,
no momentary pause, eye fixed on some sight in the distance
captivated.

I did not realize or comprehend
the daily beauty I was missing:
the wheeling bird I did not look up to see,
the petals tumbling from spring-time cherry trees,
the way the cat across the road looked up as I passed by,
and the smile of the woman on the street.
I’d cherish these moments from the beginning,
if I had mine to make over.

Insignificant

It happens on an airplane —
metal bullet hurtling at 30,000 feet,
temporary home to a mere 200 souls.
It happens as the wheels lift off, as the
houses, roads, and people fall away,
shrinking as I rapidly gain

perspective.

It happens on the bus at the intersection
and as we trundle down the street.
It happens as the people beyond my window
jog and laugh and race and as some of them
shuffle along, stumbling over
a distraction of cell phones, clutched
in outstretched hands.

It happens in a singular moment as
I hold their stories, cupped in the cradle of my palms
as I pass unseen beyond
the screen of window’s glass.

It happens in the dark, at night
when I find the thud of my heartbeat
distracting as it thumps and stutters
in the cage of my chest.
It happens as each moment passes
one after each and every other
to the rhythm of my heart’s beat chanting
now and now and now and —

It happens when I close my eyes,
breathe in deep,
and marvel at my own fleeting presence
and comprehend my utter

insignificance.