I had big plans for December.
December was going to be the month I put myself out there in a big way and started coaching people outside of the Martha Beck Life Coach Training student group.
December was going to be the month I finally did all the things I’d been thinking about but avoiding and/or hadn’t gotten around to.during all of my travel in November.
December was going to be the month in which I finished strong in 2015.
Do you ever have months like this?
Months where you sit down on Day 1 and decide that *this* is going to be the month when you finally do that thing you’ve been meaning to do (you know the one!).
Because I do. If I’m being honest, more months than not I fall into this trap. The trap of thinking that this month is going to be the one month to rule them all.
It’s a dangerous line of thinking because it never works out.
The bigger you set your intention the harder it seems you fail. (Or at least, I do.)
So in December I’m trying something radical. I’m trying something new. I’m clearing the decks of tasks and to-do’s. I’m setting aside all of the things I didn’t get to in November.
Instead, I am allowing myself to expand into the wide-open stretch of December.
I am choosing to sit on the bus and not read — just ponder.
I am choosing to do just three push-ups a day and call it exercise. (Hey, it’s three more than I was doing!)
I am choosing to meditate.
I am choosing to dream.
I am choosing to sleep.
And for now, I am not looking ahead to January, to 2016, to New Year’s Resolutions.
For the moment I am looking no further than the span of my next breath — because for the moment I am waiting and waiting is always best done fully present.
And because I’m waiting and I’m present — I’m noticing things, too.
I’m noticing the woman on the street urgently tugging her tiny dog out of the path of an oncoming bicycle as I glide by in the bus on my way to work.
I’m noticing the tree on my walk to the bus stop that is still stubbornly holding on to beautiful, ruddy leaves when all the other trees have long since faded to patchy clumps of dismal brown.
I’m noticing myself speaking up in meetings when I would usually have held my tongue. I’m noticing myself being afraid and still doing it anyways.
I’m noticing myself becoming someone new.
And I’d like to invite you to notice yourself becoming, too. Because we’re all becoming in every moment — even in those when it seems certain that, for now at least, we’ve stopped.
And so before the next round of holidays hit and the exhilarating rush of New Year’s Resolutions I’d like to invite you to take a week and just slow down until you’d swear you’d stopped.
And in that moment of stillness I invite you to notice who, exactly, it is that you might be becoming.
Because I think that the noticing is the preparation — the step that lets you know where it is you’re headed.
And so while everyone else is already busy dreaming up their 2016, I’m going to invite you to wait, to pause, to rest, to notice, and to take stock.
Because it’s not until you’ve done these things that you’ll have any idea where it is you’re going.
And only then will you be ready to tackle the journey.
When was the last time you gave yourself the luxury of living life slowly? Let me know in the comments!